Today marks two years since we got married, which is CRAZY! The past two years have flown by in hyperspeed.
I’ll be honest, about six months before the wedding I started getting really nervous and therefore also megastressed. And since I don’t deal well with stress, as soon as the wedding was over I didn’t want to think, hear or have anything to do the wedding. I was happy enough to be married and wanted to chill out for a while. This also meant that I rarely went back and looked at our wedding photos and was probably why we took nearly two years to book our honeymoon. But now after the dust has settled (ha!) I love looking at our wedding photos and remembering the day with such happiness.
A little bit of background about Robbie & I and our wedding:
We met at uni in 2007 and started properly seeing each other in 2008. We had the typical “uni relationship”- we didn’t live together but would see each other nearly every day, didn’t have any massive future plans and just generally took it pretty easy for 4 or so years. After uni Rob got a job in a tiny village in Scotland for a year so instead of hanging out with cows and staring at open fields I moved back to Stockholm to work there. The plan was that I was going to be there for 6-12 months and then both of us would try to find work in Edinburgh. Rob did move to Edinburgh but my contract was extended and I really enjoyed being close to my family so I stuck around for a while…3 years to be exact. During those 3 years Rob and I were doing good and long-distance wasn’t really an issue for us. We would see each other every few weeks/months and were both focusing on our jobs so it made sense to live apart for a while. But then at one point both of us realized that we had to make some sort of a decision and that living apart was getting boring. After deciding that we both wanted to get married (over FaceTime, so typical), we got engaged and then the wedding planning started. Where were we going to get married? To me it was clear that we had to get married in my home country of Estonia because of my grandparents (sadly none of Robbie’s grandparents are still alive) and it was probably going to be cheaper to do it over there. When were we going to get married? Well, seeing as it’s basically winter in Estonia for 9 months it had to be the summer. What kind of a wedding did we want? A very relaxed atmosphere, so we decided on getting married at my family’s farm house. Because of all of these factors combined I decided to stay in Stockholm for a while longer and planned the wedding from Sweden while Rob was still in Edinburgh. JEEZ, the stress!
I think most of my stress came from that because the venue was our own, we all wanted it to be perfect. And there was a lot of work to do! Luckily it was also my grandfather’s 85th birthday and my uncle’s 50th that year so with combined efforts we were able to pull it off!
At first we were going to get married in a church but because we’re both not religious we changed our minds a few months later. We had a civil ceremony instead and a lovely lady from the bureau (don’t actually know what it’s called) came to the farm house and wed us under our gazebo in the yard. Since I don’t like standing in front of people I told her she had max 7 minutes to get the ceremony over and done with (I said this politely though). After the ceremony we had dinner & speeches in our barn and then planned on dancing outside, but because of rain we did everything in the barn. It was kind of a spontaneous wedding party.
We had around 100 guests from all over, in fact I think it was from 17 countries in total, which you can see in the photo with the flags. We organized a bus from Tallinn that took most of the international guests to the farm and back.
Things that went wrong (but that are hilarious in hindsight):
The cake fiasco – we ordered a cake from a lady who lives about 45 mins from the farm. It was meant to be a tiered kohupiim (kind of like cheesecake) cake with sugary flowers on it. I really wasn’t fussed on the cake so I didn’t focus on it a lot. Anyway, on the morning of the wedding my mom drove to pick it up and the cake had literally fallen apart (basically fell onto one side lopsidedly) and the poor lady was SO STRESSED. She needed a few more hours to fix it so my mom went back with my aunt later in the day and the cake lady had put it onto several different layers. It didn’t look as pretty as it would have initially but it was fine. My poor aunt had to lie with it in the boot of the car and hold it for 45 mins straight in case it was going to fall again. When it arrived the guys had to very, very carefully take it out of the car and transport in onto a big plate of ice (photo of their concentrated faces + the damned cake below).
Catering – What I should firstly add is that I really wanted to get a food truck with burgers etc for the wedding, which I managed to book. A few days after confirming the booking with them they called and said they had double booked me, so could offer the same food but not the truck 🙁 Oh well, that wasn’t actually what went wrong. What went wrong on the day was that they were meant to arrive a few hours before the wedding but…GOT LOST IN THE ESTONIAN COUNTRYSIDE. Apparently they were circling around on the country roads with vans full of food for like two hours. They arrived about 45 minutes before the ceremony started and somehow pulled it off. The extra funny thing was that they changed into these weird golden silky outfits which looked super hilarious, like Aladdin’s running around 😀
The bus breaking down – Hahahah this was probably the funniest bit. So the bus picked up around 50 of the guests in Tallinn and would have made it to the farm for about 4 pm. At around 3ish or so Robbie gets a call from his dad that the bus had literally broken down on a side road en route to the wedding and several of the guys were trying to help fix it. In all honesty I was a little happy about this because I was running late with my makeup etc. They finally managed to fix the bus (don’t know how) and were only about an hour or so late.
The weather- I mean, it’s not really something that went wrong but I wasn’t planning on rain, was I? Fortunately for us it was mostly clear in the morning and afternoon; unfortunately for us it started raining at 5pm on the spot when the ceremony started.
Things that stood out to me:
Seeing Robbie cry for the first time during his speech 💞
Having all my friends and family together in the same place
Feeling blessed to get married at home
Finding my friend Johny sleeping on the floor in the garage because he couldn’t find his tent
Picking flowers with my bridesmaids the day before the wedding
Feeling the success of having lured Rob into a lifetime of marriage with me 😈
What I have learned after two years of marriage:
Honestly, I don’t know what I expected “marriage” to feel like and I still can’t put it into words. I think the biggest change for us was that we only moved in together after getting married, which is pretty unconventional these days. I guess I was more worried that living together and seeing each other every day was going to be hard. But it wasn’t at all! I think having just gotten married helped that too because I knew he was committed to being by my side foreva and eva so moving country,jobs and away from the rest of my family wasn’t as daunting. I think it’s almost the feeling of “having your person”or your teammate that has been the most important part of marriage for me. I feel secure and safe and happy knowing that after a shit day or worrying about something silly I’ve got this person here who’s willing to either help me change my mind about it or live through it with me. It also helps that we’ve known each other for almost ten years and had the luxury of taking things slow for ages. We’ve also tested long distance so we know we can handle a lot of situations that many probably can’t.
All in all, even though I get annoyed about minor things (wet towels, mostly), I’ve never ever had feelings of regret of marrying my silent Northern Irishman and I’m so happy to share my life with him 💞
Some photos from our big day below: