At the beginning of every summer I try to “take it all in”. I know it sounds lame, but I make a point to close my eyes and really grasp that it’s actually the SUMMER. The one season that I impatiently wait 9 months for. And then what happens is that I basically blink and the summer is over. So here we are again, September.
I don’t really hate September, in fact I kind of like September (because who doesn’t like pumpkin spice and apple cinnamon pie and crunchy colorful leaves?!). But what September signifies for me is the start of the cold, the dark and the sleepy three seasons to come. While autumn usually is a pretty productive season for me when I get a lot of work done and ease back into a routine, the winter and spring tend to be dragged out and boring.
I also feel like the older I get, the shorter summer becomes. When I was 8, the summer felt like five years. I would go back to school and boys would have tripled in height. When I was 14, the summer felt like a year. I would go back to school and suddenly girls had boobs and boys didn’t have cooties anymore?! And then I was 16 and had a summer job and the summer felt like 3 months, because a part of me was bored of working in a call center but part of me was still excited because I was young and just started dating guys and yes, it was summer. And then I was 22, at home for the summer from uni and had to work every hour of the day to make some cash to be able to afford rent. So the summer felt like, maybe a month, tops. And here I am at 27. This summer felt like it went by in 4 days and I’m not even over exaggerating. It really did feel that way. But I know why it felt like that, it’s because this is the first summer that I have spent not at home in Estonia or Sweden where you actually get proper summers, where you can wear shorts and tank tops and not freeze. This summer I spent half of it here in Edinburgh where summer is just basically a milder winter (=rain).
I listened to Leandra Medine’s podcast episode called Endless Summer (here on Soundcloud), which at first made me sad because it was almost as though she had creepily found a way to sit inside of my head and say everything that I was feeling, but then the feeling lifted. Because she had a good point. That summer is almost just a lifestyle and a state of mind. That suddenly when the autumn comes these feelings of FOMO disappear because we can go home after work and not feel guilty about not being outdoors with friends in beer gardens etc. Which made me think of a list of things that I am grateful for when it is not summer, just to try to make myself feel a bit better. Here goes:
- I like really do like pumpkins, like mentioned above.
- I can hide my lard under thick jumpers without having to suck my stomach in.
- I can watch all the Netflix I want without feeling bad. PS. season 2 of Narcos starts tomorrow!!!
- I don’t have to swat away mosquitos.
- I don’t have to wash my hair too often because I can hide underneath a hat.
- I can wear boots, which is a nice change from my Nike’s.
- I’ll be saving money because summer is just too expensive.
- I can actually focus fully on work without getting distracted.
- I can reach my friends when I call them at night because they will also be sitting on their sofas instead of raving at some random mid-week festival.
- I can eat stews again.
So, that’s it then. This has actually made me feel a bit better. I’m glad I wrote this all down. I accept you, autumn. You may arrive.
!!!On a completely different note I saw HALLOWEEN decorations in John Lewis last week 😲🔫!!!